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Keeping Records
Blair Socci. Comedian. Actress. Writer. Scientist.Totally spur of the moment, out of nowhere, random as all hell, Caleb and Shelby ask Blair what she'd put on her Golden Record. And what Blair creates is a work of art. It's a record that will teach the aliens of how adorable humanity can be, and also of an unparalleled, Grammy Award-winning alternative rock record from 1995. Blair also rebukes those who abandoned Anne Hathaway in her time of need, in the process absolving one of our hosts (ok it's Shelby but she KNOWS what she did and sees the error of her ways).Blair's Golden RecordTiny children with glasses (image)Sending and receiving surprise gifts (human ephemera)Alanis Morisette, Jagged Little Pill (audio)Hook (audio-visual)Eating large meals with friends and family (multisensory experience)Original Voyager Artifact Mexico, "El Cascabel," performed by Lorenzo Barcelata and the Mariachi México (audio)Follow Blair!TwitterInstagramFollow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm
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Keeping Records
Katie Kershaw (Mrs. Fletcher, Fargo, Pathetic Woman) thought hard about what to include on her Golden Record. And —truly? honestly?—it shows in its perfection. The aliens need to understand that humans are a species that should not be messed with, and they will learn that through our insane eating habits, eagerness to engage in awkward social interactions, and folk songs about fire.Katie's ArtifactsMartina McBride, "Independence Day" (audio-visual)The coffee cup of a keynote speaker at a hotel conference (human ephemera)Rupaul's Drag Race seasons 1-13, plus all stars, plus international seasons (audio-visual)Muriels Wedding (audio-visual)The Best Man and The Best Man Holiday (audio-visual)Everything Kelly Ripa eats in a day (audio-visual)The moment in film, TV, or real life when a mom relaxes after a preparing a holiday meal (human behavior)The Mother Goose House in Hazard, Kentucky (architectural advancement)Garth Brooks, "Standing Outside The Fire" (audio)The moment when you're not sure if you should shake hands or hug (human behavior)Follow Katie!Follow the show @keepingrecordspodCheck out our show and many hilarious other pods featured on Stitcher's first-ever Comedy Week! In-app or at Stitcherapp.com/comedyAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm
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Keeping Records
Comedian Amy Miller comes to the pod to settle an age-old feud with Caleb (started like a month ago?) and to ignite a brand-new feud with Shelby (over burritos). And there's also her Golden Record, which is loaded like a Bay Area super-burrito with artifacts to communicate to the aliens what they need to know about human life.Caleb and Shelby and Amy also discuss the scariest sound collage of all time, which, incidentally, is what NASA sent to the aliens.Amy's ArtifactsWatching a grown man try to take off his hoodie, and then his undershirt also goes up a little and you making eye contact to acknowledge that you witnessed the hotness (human behavior)Being super mad but not being able to help laughing (human behavior)The last three bites of a Bay Area carnitas super burrito (culinary advancement)Cabbage fart joke from The Golden Girls (audio-visual)Sam Rockwell dancing (human being)Vine “I want to be famous.” (audio-visual)YouTube “More sand.” (audio-visual)So I Married an Axe Murderer Soundtrack (audio)Dateline (audio-visual)Movie theaters with recliners, a full bar, and a full menu including milkshakes (human experience)Scented candles from Target (human ephemera)A salvation tract, preferably "Some Day You Will Stand Before God" (document) The Diary of Anne Frank (document)Original Voyager Artifact"Footsteps, Heartbeat, Laughter" (audio)Follow Amy and listen to her on her podcast Who's Your God?Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm
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Keeping Records
Actor, podcaster, and producer Jacquis Neal (Culture Kings, The Cast, UCB) puts together one of the most well-rounded records we here at not-NASA have ever seen. Film, television, music, food, and human experience—it's all on there. We fully endorse Jacquis for President of the United States of America.Jacquis's ArtifactsJay-Z, "Meet The Parents" (audio)Martin (audio-visual)The Truman Show (audio-visual)Skinny Dipping in Provincetown, MA (human experience)Crispy Onion Chicken Recipe (food and document)Original Voyager ArtifactGreek Greeting: "Greetings to you, whoever you are. We come in friendship to those who are friends." (audio)Follow Jacquis on Twitter and listen to him on The Cast with Rae and Jacquis Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm
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Keeping Records
Comedian Molly Kearney builds a Golden Record full of the things the aliens could never dream of. What will they think of an animated film in which all of the characters are humanoid dogs, some of which are insanely hot? Sure, they could imagine a car, but what about a minivan with the door falling off and all the back benches removed, blaring the best piano rock tunes of the last fifty years? Do they have geode caverns on their planet? Probably not. A hug from Molly's mom? Not in their galaxy.There is also a lot of talk about pants-shitting and death-by-toilet. It is simultaneously our blessing and curse as a species.Molly's ArtifactsA Goofy Movie (audio-visual)Not knowing your favorite chicken patty is vegetarian (multisensory experience)Driving in Molly's Ford Windstar with no back benches, sliding door falling off, and an Elton John Greatest Hits cassette stuck in player (multisensory experience)Crystal Cave in Put-in-Bay, Ohio (geologic formation)The bond between restaurant staff (human behavior)Hug from Mom (multisensory experience)The chewed up baseball from The Sandlot (human ephemera)A personal pedicab ride from Molly (human experience)Original Voyager Artifact"Tame Dog" (audio)Follow Molly on Twitter and Instagram!Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm
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Keeping Records
Actress, comedian, writer, and podcaster Lauren Lapkus (The Wrong Missy, Jurassic World, Crashing) creates a Golden Record full of experiences, emotions, and tastes. She will not, however, taste anything called "salad" that isn't an actual salad, because honestly that is a repulsive concept.Lauren's ArtifactsWatching the opening credits of Who's the Boss (multisensory experience)The feeling of lost cat being found (multisensory experience)About Time (audio-visual)The sensation of peeing in the shower for the first time (multisensory experience)The taste and feeling of eating half-baked chocolate chip cookies while stoned (multisensory experience)Original Voyager ArtifactCrocodile, Peter Beard (image)Hotter, Not Actual Voyager Artifact (But It Really Should Have Been One)Self-portrait in mouth of crocodile, Peter Beard (image)Follow Lauren on Twitter!Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm
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Keeping Records
Comedian and podcaster Beth Stelling ordered some sandwiches...like...an hour ago. They're still not here yet but she's going to go ahead and get started telling Caleb and Shelby her plans for her Golden Record: people falling over and hurting themselves but like not reaaaally hurting themselves, her niece meeting a woodland creature, Ted Danson absolutely nailing it on—oh shit, someone's knocking, brbBeth's ArtifactsFalling compilations (audio-visual)Niece meeting a bunny for the first time (audio-visual)Mr. Mayor (audio-visual)Photo of Beth and her mom in Hawaii after her mom retired from teaching (image)6th grade home videos or her and her friends making music videos (audio-visual)Original Voyager ArtifactMountain Climber (Gaston Rébuffat) (image)Follow Beth and watch Girl Daddy on HBO Max.Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm
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Keeping Records
Comedian, writer, and actor Mae Martin (Feel Good) submits their Golden Record artifacts to Caleb and Shelby. They also discuss nude hide and seek, causing chaos in amusement parks, and bad psychic mediums.Mae's ArtifactsThe feeling of being about to be discovered in hide and seek (multisensory experience)Blake Lively in The Town saying "How do you know Dougie?" (multisensory experience)Hocus Pocus (audio-visual)The Beatles (audio)Original Voyager ArtifactPresident Jimmy Carter's letter to the aliens (document)Follow Mae @TheMaeMartin and watch Feel Good on Netflix!Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm
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Keeping Records
Comedian and podcaster Sydnee Washington (Hobby Hunter, Syd Can Cook) is prepared to show the aliens what they need to know about humans: the power of Rhianna, Earth's laziness, what we're willing to do for horniness, and Queen Latifah.Sydnee's artifactsFenty Makeup (tool)Swiffer mop (tool)Strap-on (tool)Set It Off (audio-visual)"Do You Think...?" Listener PicksMary Kate Olsen's Zoom Divorce (audio-visual) Nicki Minaj calling out Miley Cyrus at the VMAs (audio-visual)sensation of an icy hot patch (multisensory experience)Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm
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Keeping Records
Comedian and writer Samantha Irby (Wow, No Thank You; Meaty; Shrill) creates a Golden Record full of artifacts that she hopes the aliens will find life-changing. She also expresses her thoughts on what she would do with Henry Cavill in inappropriate public settings.Sam's artifactsGone Girl, the book not the movie (literature)A live Tori Amos bootleg cassette (audio)Mission: Impossible - Fallout (audio-visual)Dlisted.com comment section from 2008 - (web archive)The burn of an excessively carbonated gas station fountain soda (multisensory experience)Voyager ArtifactNavajo Night Chant (audio)"Do You Think...?" Listener PicksLenny Kravitz accidental dick exposure (audio-visual) Plain rice with butter (food)"Like a G6" by Far East Movement (audio)Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm
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Keeping Records
Actor, writer, director and producer Zoe Lister-Jones (How it Ends, The Craft: Legacy, Life in Pieces) creates a Golden Record to educate aliens on human sexuality, food, and reckoning. Also about the power of diffuse lighting.Liz Phair's Exile in Guyville (audio)Chicken (food)Michaela Coel's I May Destroy You (audio-visual)Mask Fashion (human ephemera)Jennifer Lopez's lighting package (human ephemera)Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm
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Keeping Records
Writer and generally amazing human Caitie Delaney (Rick and Morty) creates a Golden Record of various elements of Earth pop culture.Caitie's ArtifactsLivestreams of Disney Adults (audio-visual)French Montana, "Pop That" (audio)Richard Linklater's Before Sunset Trilogy (audio-visual)Paparazzi Photos (image)Voyager Artifact Deep Dive:Demonstration of Eating, Licking and Drinking (image)Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm
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Keeping Records
Comedian and podcaster Steve Hernandez fills his Golden Record with vibes. It's not just the items, it's the feelings.Steve's ArtifactsEating chips and dip with family on holidays (multisensory experience)Receiving enjoyable anal sex for the first time (multisensory experience)When the Holy Spirit drops during "Pour Out My Heart" (multisensory experience)First time being permitted to feel a breast (multisensory experience)Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm
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Keeping Records
Jake and Amir, AKA Caleb and Shelby's Headgum bosses, check in on how the Golden Record project is coming. Inadvertently they are tricked into compiling their own list of artifacts to send to outer space.Jake's Artifacts"Wounded" by Third Eye Blind (audio)Making out (multisensory experience)Cold swim on a hot day (multisensory experience)Parents laughing at his sister's wedding (image)Amir's ArtifactsA fart (audio)McDonalds in your car (multisensory experience)Rubik's Cube (human ephemera)Laughing until you cry (multisensory experience)Getting into a hot bath (multisensory experience)Voyager Artifact Deep DiveAmoy (Min Dialect) Greeting (audio)Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm
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Keeping Records
Musician and producer Naomi McPherson (of MUNA) plans their Gold Record with Caleb and Shelby.Naomi's record entries:Robyn's "Dancing On My Own" (audio)Kim Cattrall Scatting (audio-visual)Teenage emotions and forgetting what it's like to have them (human experience)Voyager Artifact Deep DiveChuck Berry, "Johnny B. Goode" (audio)Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fm
Keeping Records
with Caleb Hearon and Shelby Wolstein
In 1977, NASA sent the Voyager into space with two records known as the “Golden Records.” On them were recordings of notable historic music, evocative nature sounds, and murmurs from contemporary life, all used to paint a picture of humanity and the world at large. Things have changed a lot since 1977, so Caleb Hearon and Shelby Wolstein are trying their hand at an update. They're talking with comedians, musicians, and the like about what they would include on their own “golden record” if a new one were sent today. Songs, images, films, and moments are all on the table in this comedic reflection on art, media, and culture.