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Keeping Records
I...don't know what to say about this one. Actor, writer, and fellow Headgum podcaster Geoffrey James is on the show and just...wow. What even happened here? Mayhem, tattoos, heavily reused bits from last episode, our hosts and guest are absolutely depraved this episode.Geoff's Artifacts When someone with acrylic nails scratches your back during a personal low (multisensory experience) Pretty. Odd. by Panic! At the Disco (audio) Feeling pride when buying something specific at a hardware store (human emotion) Aioli (multisensory experience) Making a friend feel bad about almost getting in a car accident for way longer than is fair (multisensory experience) The 10-minute underwater scuba battle in Thunderball (1965) (audio-visual) Follow Geoff on Instagram and Twitter, and listen to him on The Headgum Podcast and Review Revue!Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Keeping Records
Shelby is ill and will NOT stop giving sex eyes. Caleb is in Portland and surviving the heatwave. It’s up to comedian, writer, and actress Mitra Jouhari (Three Busy Debras, Big Mouth, High Maintenance) to educate the aliens, and she’s created a Golden Record designed to showcase the pinnacle of entertainment on Earth.Mitra’s Artifacts Pretty Little Liars (audio-visual) Lost & Found Music Studios (audio-visual) Countess Luann and other Real Housewives music careers (audio-visual) Galaxy Quest (audio-visual) Gossip Girl (audio-visual) Follow Mitra on Instagram and watch Three Busy Debras on HBO Max!Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Keeping Records
Caleb has fled to Portland. Shelby is sleeping in and doesn't miss Caleb...yet. Comedian and writer Raina Morris visits with them to prep her Golden Record and it's just...so much stuff! There's software to instruct the aliens on how to take care of humans; details on how to properly care for our skin and hair; how to satisfy oral fixations and stay hydrated at the same time. Raina swears up and down that she's not prepping the aliens for zoo-keeping an exhibit of humans, but truly you will have to decide on what her plans ultimately are.Raina's Artifacts The Sims 2 (software) "Beautiful Liar" Beyoncé and Shakira music video (audio-visual) YouTube ingrown hair extraction videos (audio-visual) The feeling of when a hairstylist washes your hair and scratches your scalp (multi-sensory experience) Eating ice (food) A kiss on the lips from someone wearing lip gloss (multi-sensory experience) Follow Raina on Instagram and Twitter!Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Keeping Records
Shelby talks about her shaving injury. Caleb is displeased, but also preoccupied with speculative workplace drama. Comedian Liza Treyger almost leaves the podcast early due to the graphic description of Shelby's injury, but sticks it out to ensure her Golden Record is delivered to the aliens.Liza's Artifacts Britney Spears's catalog of MTV Making the Video episodes (audio-visual) Miley Cyrus defending Kennedy Davenport and drag to Joe Rogan (audio-visual) Ludacris, "What's Your Fantasy" (audio) Bojack Horseman (audio-visual) Emma Chamblerain's YouTube channel (audio-visual) Follow Liza on Twitter and Instagram, and listen to That's Messed Up: An SVU Podcast wherever you listen to podcasts.Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Keeping Records
Caleb has fallen and hit his head. Like a true king he got back up, but now Shelby has the difficult task of convincing him that he doesn't have a brain bleed. Luckily, she has comedian, writer, and actress Nori Reed to assist in assuring Caleb that he doesn't need to seek immediate medical attention. And while Nori's here, why not find out what she'd put on her Golden Record? Absurd reality television, home decor superstores, Italian vistas and Diane Lane, and Normani's magic basketball bum bounce are all heading to space.Nori's Artifacts The Swan (audio-visual) IKEA (architecture and multisensory experience) Normani, "Motivation" (audio) Under The Tuscan Sun (audio-visual) Caleb falling and hitting his head during his self-tape (audio-visual) Original Voyager ArtifactRajasthani greeting, "Hello to everyone. We are happy here and you be happy there."Listen to Hot White Heist on Audible, watch Nori's comedy on HBO Max, and follow her on Instagram and Twitter!Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Keeping Records
Last week's episode...it really devastated Shelby and Caleb. So much so that they're taking some precautionary steps for the sanctity of the pod. Comedian, friend, and breakfast enthusiast A.J. Marroquin mediates our hosts' ongoing negotiations, occasionally sharing his own Golden Record when allowed to. Jennifer Lopez makes yet another guest appearance on the pod, and so do a hell of a lot of snakes. Theme park souvenir photos, cars spiraling down from the heavens, The Golden Corral, all of it is a wondrous backstop for hammering out Caleb and Shelby's dysfunctional functionality. And it is beautiful.A.J.‘s Artifacts Jennifer Lopez's filmography (audio-visual) Saloon-style famkly portraits/theme park souvenirs (image) Breakfast after a hook-up (multisensory experience) Buffets (multisensory experience) The Carvana vending machine (architecture) Follow A.J. and do literally everything in your power to see him do comedy live. Twitter Instagram Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Keeping Records
Actor, producer, and writer E.R. Fightmaster takes great issue with the premise of Keeping Records. And the issue is that the show shouldn't be about educating the aliens on humanity—it's about making the aliens feel how we feel. And that means the aliens need to feel perplexed by CrossFit, electrified by Temptation Island, inspired by the WNBA, and...I actually am not sure what they'll think about the oyster thing. But they're gonna feel something.E.R.'s Artifacts CrossFit (human behavior) Temptation Island (audio-visual) The WNBA "Wubble" Season (audio-visual) Books about cities (literature) Oysters (food) A text that says “I’m running five behind” when you are really 20 behind (human behavior) Follow E.R. and watch them on Shrill! Also listen to their music released as Twin! Instagram Twitter Music Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Keeping Records
Comedian and writer Chris Gethard has a vision for how he wants the world to be, and that vision is one where you never know what's going to happen next. For that reason, his record is a collection of truly bizarre audio-visual television moments that he's encountered over the course of his life. Wrestling, bizarre Spanish-language gameshows, and a whole lot of Mr. T, like probably to the point where the aliens will believe he is a deity—which he, of course, is.Chris's Artifacts Drunk Ewoks on The Today Show (audio-visual) The footage of Mr. T on El Gran Juego de la Oca (audio-visual) Conan goes apple picking with Mr. T (audio-visual) The unforgettable debut of The Shockmaster (audio-visual) Malice at the Palace, a Pistons vs Pacers Fight 2004 (audio-visual) Legacy viral videos mentioned in episode Grape lady falls! Gay Mount Everest Keep Fucking That Chicken by Ernie Anastos on Fox 5 WNYW Scare Tactics, Rat Monster Follow Chris, and watch his new special Half My Life on June 1st, on Amazon Prime Video, Apple TV, Pluto TV, Peacock, Tubi, and more! But preferably Tubi, because, well, you know. Tubi. Twitter Instagram Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Keeping Records
Comedian and actor Taylor Ortega (Kim Possible, Love Life, Welcome to Flatch) is crashing on Caleb and Dr. Wolstein's pull-out couch, so why not build a Golden Record? Along the way everyone recounts the trauma of having to go to the bathroom in the woods, and also the trauma of wearing Nike Shocks.Taylor's Artifacts Wet wipes (human ephemera) The Real L-Word (audio-visual) Cute, trendy plants that are easy to take care of (biological sample) Taylor’s group chats (literature) A good nonstick pan (human tool) Original Voyager ArtifactOld Man With Beard and Glasses (Turkey), Jonathan BlairFollow Taylor on Instagram!Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Keeping Records
What begins as a meeting with beloved friend and comedian Meg Stalter immediately devolves into an episode of depravity and psychosis. Shelby leaves the recording, seemingly out of rage. Caleb exposes himself repeatedly. Meg says the c-word. Producer Mike becomes Producer Michael. Quite simply, it's insanity.But, aside from all that madness, Meg's Golden Record is angelic in its innocence.Meg's Golden Record: Girls, Season 3, Episode 7 "Beach House" (audio-visual) Knowledge of Dolly Parton's Existence (audio-visual) Laughing hysterically at a restaurant with friends (multisensory experience) The smell of poolside sunscreen and chlorine (multisensory experience) Realizing you have a crush on someone (multisensory experience) Follow Meg! Twitter Instagram Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Keeping Records
You guys...wait...This is huge.Space artist and science journalist Jon Lomberg, co-creator of the original Voyager Golden Record (!!!), joins Caleb and Shelby to talk about his experience putting together humanity's epitaph, which left Earth in 1977.Jon offers his take on aliens, behind the scene stories, and how to comprehend yourself at the scale of the universe.Jon's own personal Golden Record is expansive and comprises as many genres of world music as possible, including (but not limited to): Hawaiian slack key or vocals, like “Ho’olauna Aloha” Teresa Bright from her album Self Portrait Celtic music Middle Eastern music Flamenco Inuit throat singing Tibetan chants Musical Theater Marching Band Michael Jackson Afrojazz K-pop With hypothetical new technology since the original records, Jon would also include Earth's favorite molecules for the ETs, like caffeine and THC, as well as the smell of of roses and the taste of mango. Software like Tetris is on the table now, too.You can learn more about Jon at his website www.jonlomberg.com, where you'll find his original artwork as well as links to his lectures and writings.Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Keeping Records
Comedian Grace Kuhlenschmidt realizes that her Golden Record is only for her—and that's ok. The aliens will take what they can and leave the rest.But truly, how could they leave the cookies? And she made that cocktail for them, would the aliens dare refuse? They will love quirky, early 2000s pop music. And hopefully the documentary teaches them to not put humans in tiny cages when they conquer us.Grace's Golden Record Hoku and Mandy Moore (audio) Blackfish (audio-visual) Quadratinis (food) Laying in warm grass (multisensory experience) Being tomboy (multisensory experience) Beeresca—a homemade cocktail recipe (food) Original Voyager Artifact "X-Ray of Hand" (image)Follow Grace! Twitter Instagram Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Keeping Records
Negin Farsad—comedian, writer, director, host of the podcast Fake the Nation—needs the aliens to experience humanity in a very specific way. And that way is...perfect. Swan dresses, elevated train tracks extending across the Manhattan skyline, trying not to cry when you see something beautiful in public, nouvelle cuisine...it's all there. Except for Plumber's Crack. That's gone, she got rid of that.Negin's Golden Record Artifacts: Anything Bjork related (audio-visual) The Highline in NYC and the thrill of a public works project (architecture) That moment when a concert violinist is playing for free in a park and they play something beautiful and then you cry in public but try to act like you have allergies (multisensory experience) The first time having French food made by French people (food) The Grinder (audio-visual) Knowing you're wearing a cute outfits (multisensory experience) Listen to Negin on Fake the Nation and Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me! and follow her socials. Twitter Instagram Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Keeping Records
Musician and interstellar voyager Tanerélle blesses Caleb and Shelby with her Golden Record, a visual and aural amalgamation so beautiful and powerful that the aliens will have no choice but to understand, and thus be inspired by, the overwhelming genius of planet Earth.Tanerélle's Golden Record Sugar Shack by Ernie Barnes (image) Sade’s Greatest Hits (audio) All Marvel films (audio-visual) Girlfriends and Moesha (audio-visual) Follow Tanerélle! Instagram Twitter Listen to Tanerélle on Spotify, Apple Music, or anywhere else you listen to music.Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Keeping Records
Blair Socci. Comedian. Actress. Writer. Scientist.Totally spur of the moment, out of nowhere, random as all hell, Caleb and Shelby ask Blair what she'd put on her Golden Record. And what Blair creates is a work of art. It's a record that will teach the aliens of how adorable humanity can be, and also of an unparalleled, Grammy Award-winning alternative rock record from 1995. Blair also rebukes those who abandoned Anne Hathaway in her time of need, in the process absolving one of our hosts (ok it's Shelby but she KNOWS what she did and sees the error of her ways).Blair's Golden Record Tiny children with glasses (image) Sending and receiving surprise gifts (human ephemera) Alanis Morisette, Jagged Little Pill (audio) Hook (audio-visual) Eating large meals with friends and family (multisensory experience) Original Voyager Artifact Mexico, "El Cascabel," performed by Lorenzo Barcelata and the Mariachi México (audio)Follow Blair! Twitter Instagram Follow the show @keepingrecordspodAdvertise on Keeping Records via Gumball.fmSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.